Eastleigh (Home)

On a squally, windswept Saturday, Bath City welcomed (welcomed in the loosest sense) Eastleigh to Twerton. Due to a stag do, there were actually Eastleigh fans in attendance and given there usual home crowd of 300 that is a surprise!

Richard Hill the manager of Eastleigh had been shitstirring in the week, by claiming two City players had texted him during the week saying they were available for next season, but then in best ‘Arry Redknapp style he claimed it was “nothing to do with me I might add” clearly bullshitting comes naturally to managers based in Hampshire.

Eastleigh have been throwing some money around, and ridiculously contain Chris Zebroski in their ranks, who was playing 4^th tier football until earlier this season, and it reportedly on £1k a week with a £1k goal bonus, which cannot be sustainable for Eastleigh, and you wonder if a Weymouth/Kettering Town/Truro City situation is brewing.

Once again the stripes were to be indebted to Jason Mellor, with the keeper coming to the rescue of City on a good few occasions. One of the good news stories of the week is that Mellor has signed on for next season, which is brilliant news as he has grown in stature and ability on a game by game basis.

Noah Keats had a rasping drive from distance on 10 minutes that narrowly flew wide, but this was all City really created in the first half hour, with Eastleigh enjoying more of the possession and attacking threat, but when City’s next chance did arrive it again fell to Keats and Ross Flitney had to parry the ball around his post.

The pitch was looking fairly bad as the continued bad weather of the last few months wreaked havoc with the Twerton pitch, and I imagine the grounds man is praying for the season to end to allow the pitch some time to recover.

Nearing the end of the  half, Mellor bravely dived at the feet of an onrushing attacker, and if he’d mistimed it City were in all sorts of trouble, however, Jason clearly connected with the ball and the danger was snuffed out.

The half finished 0-0, and during the half time interval it was announced that Daz had raised over £2k for his charity, so a big thumbs up to everyone there.

A dangerous counterattack for Eastleigh, looked like leaving the stripes in all kinds of trouble, until Danny Ball pulled off a brilliant, sliding tackle, that while entirely fair was robust and committed, it actually accidently led to an injury for Michael Green who was substituted shortly after.

Ryan Charles came on for Chris Allen, and it was the substitute which set up the Romans opener. Charles took the ball down the right, and crossed into the area, and it struck either (depending on your view) the shoulder or the upper arm that was moved towards the ball, the referee shook his head vigorously, however, the linesman clearly thought it had struck the arm, as the flag was raised across his chest, and the penalty was given.

Eastleigh players disgracefully hurled a barrage of abuse at the linesman and the referee should really have booked a few of them, but the penalty stood, and Charlie Griffin stepped up and sent the keeper the wrong way with a confident penalty, scoring his 20^th goal of the season.

City were one up, but never truly deserved the lead, but looked like hanging on for the victory, despite some important saves by Mellor and some wasteful Eastleigh finishing, sadly it was not to be and in a ridiculous 6^th minute of injury time the ball was crossed into the box, it bounced around for a little bit before dropping to the feet of Adam Watkins who lashed the ball home, he and the rest of the Eastleigh team then proceeded to celebrate like they’d won the World Cup, including some over the top celebrations from the aforementioned odious Richard Hill.

However, the win would have been massively undeserved and the point now means the mighty stripes are mathematically safe and will be playing Conference South football next season. Up the City!

Chelmsford City Away

What with the season drawing to a close, and City looking comfortably secure in their midtable obscurity, the question has to be asked could anyone be arsed travelling across the country to Essex, to watch the stripes take on Chelmsford?

Surprisingly the answer was yes, as it’s a Saturday so what else will you do? It also gave me a convenient excuse to travel to London to see my mates who live there now. So I travelled over on the Friday, and spent an enjoyable evening in The Bricklayers Arms, Putney (a pub I cannot recommend highly enough) before getting up Saturday morning to head into the heart of Essex.

A quick tube to London Liverpool Street, a pasty, then onto the quick train to Chelmsford, before stepping into the sunshine just past 1pm, to see the living stereotypes of Essex girls, all fake tan, fake tits, fake eyelashes and bleached blonde hair, proving the point that stereotypes while not always true do have a grain of truth to them (currently as I am in the West Country I am drinking cider and eating cheddar…this may not be true)

 Chelmsford City, currently play at an athletics ground called Melbourne Stadium, that is on the outskirts of Chelmsford, we wandered there via a massive 1950’s suburban housing estate, that I am sure formed the basis of modern urban dystopian stories. The rabbit warren nature of the estate necessitated much use of smart phone map technology as we struggled to find our way there.

As an aside on Chelmsford City, they have a more unusual story on their foundation, while lots of clubs were formed as works teams, or church teams (Manchester City are one formed via that route) Chelmsford City though are the continuation of Chelmsford FC who were founded by the Chelmsford lawn tennis and croquet club in 1878, lawn tennis and croquet being posher than the usual miners/mill workers!

On finding the ground, we went to the nearest pub, which was the Red Beret, the pub was a modern, purpose built pub, and in actuality while not being the best it was much better than the exterior suggested, however, with no ale on tap I had my first pints of Guinness in many a year.

On exiting the pub, we walked the short distance to the ground, and paid the £11.50 entrance fee (why the 50p? every other club is round pounds) squeezed through the turnstile and was asked to vote for player of the year before he spotted my City pin badge.

The ground is as to be expected, pretty crap, but then athletic stadiums are made for athletics not football. There are a couple of temporary stands on the edge of pitch inside the running track, a seated stand down one side which is the running track distance away, then the main stand which has the sandpit as well, and is miles away from the pitch. The main problem with football in athletic grounds is the distance from the pitch, and the fact that they look so disjointed as nothing within the ground merges, so it doesn’t feel like a football ground.

Chelmsford do though, have an amazing little club shop that is in a shed! Literally, your off the shelf, B&Q standard shed, which now finds life selling claret shirts and scarves, however, given that Twerton Park doesn’t have a club shop, who am I to mock?

Sheddy club shop delight

Despite the dead rubber nature of the game, a surprisingly large number of City fans had made their way to Chelmsford, and watched the same side (minus the ill Preece with Allen taking his place) that started against Salisbury take the field.

City started quite well against a Chelmsford team who were massive fans of the long ball, and had a few good crossing opportunities, which were either marginally overhit or that Griffin headed over the bar when he did connect.

That said the Clarets were making the City defence deal with some pressure as well, and there were a few heart in mouth moments, with Mellor forced to pull off a couple of saves, one that only just went wide after his touch.

From a corner Griffin almost smuggled the ball home, this was despite the fact Stuart Searle was clearly fouling the Bath born forward by pulling his shirt and generally fouling the front man, this was seized upon as a sign the keeper didn’t like the pressure, and from subsequent corners Gethin Jones surrounded the keeper, and it was nice to see footballers thinking and taking advantage of a weakness in the opposition team.

Gethin almost scored soon after from an Aaron Brown free kick, and both the long serving centre back and fans could not work out how the ball had not gone in from his header.

Soon after the Chelmsford fans and players were even more perplexed as to how they had not taken the lead, when a cross from Cook was met powerfully at close range by Slabber, the ball cannoned against the crossbar, down onto what I can only assume was the line, before up into Mellor’s hands. A mightily close shave for City.

Look how far from the pitch the stand is

Neither side managed to score and the half time interval arrived with the score at 0-0.

The stripes broke the deadlock soon after half time with the easiest goal they have scored in years, Sekani Simpson took a quick throw down the line to Josh Low that took the whole Chelmsford defence by surprise, Low took two touches before floating over a delicious cross, which Griffin despite the close attention of two defenders expertly headed back across Searle into the net. One nil to the stripes and Chelmsford were furious with themselves.

Chelmsford then brought on a centre forward who was taller than Peter Crouch, and resorted even more to the long ball, but City were weathering the onslaught well, although did settle into their annoying habit of sitting back a touch too deep, inviting pressure on themselves.

Nevertheless, it was Bath City who came the closest to scoring again, Noah Keats, easily my pick for player of the season, burst forward showing the drive and tenacity that has been the hall mark of his game, he kept coming and defenders kept backing off him, until he was in the area, it seemed to open up for the shot, but for some reason he opted not to shoot and tried to play a square ball into substitute Marc Canham’s pass, the ball sadly was behind Canham and the chance was lost. It is an increasingly frustrating habit of some of City’s midfield to refuse the opportunity to have a shot when in the area, but it wasn’t to matter as the whistle was blown and City had beaten play off chasing Chelmsford and secured themselves (baring a whole host of unlikely results) Conference South football for next season.

The 6^th game unbeaten was celebrated in The Railway Tavern, a much better pub than The Red Beret, which had a good array of beers on, and some superb railway memorabilia on the walls that a certain missing stripe would have enjoyed. A surprisingly enjoyable away day was had, and if they don’t get promoted one I will probably do next season. UTC.

Easter Games (and a quick note on Basingstoke)

Basingstoke
The three home games in a Saturday-Tuesday-Saturday sequence, meant blogging fatigue, and after the highs of Chelmsford and Welling, the game against Basingstoke was predictable in that a draw was gained having played so well against the previous two high flying teams, Elliot Chamberlain scored City's goal and the 1-1 game had very little incident of note. Nevertheless, the 5 points from the 3 games was most unexpected and helped to allay the relegation fears.

Maidenhead United (A)
The Easter break, gives the joyous occasion of two games in three days (joyous for fans, not sure how the players feel) and the first game for the stripes was away at York Road, home of Maidenhead United. To get to Maidenhead should normally have been one of the easiest away journeys of the season, a direct train to Reading, then a quick change up to Maidenhead. Annoyingly, Reading railway station is being completely redeveloped over the bank holiday weekend, meaning that no trains were to run past Swindon. The fear of the rail replacement bus, meant that I ended up driving and conveying myself and three other stripes to Maidenhead.

We arrived in Maidenhead, and parked in a pay and display car park opposite the ground, and saw a derelict looking pub, "ah that's a shame" I thought as I mourned another closed pub, however, on closer inspection there was a old boy sitting on a table outside drinking a half of Guinness. Bloody hellfire, the pub was open, it was a state, the sign was battered, windows boarded up, and the name scribbled in different fonts over the door, how the place is still operating I have no idea, it was attached to a terrace of houses which were in the process of apparently being refurbished, but it is definitely the ropeyest entrance to a ground a have ever seen.

We ended up in the clubhouse (see other posts for my views on clubhouses!) and this one was the same as all the others. We overheard some ridiculous conversations, and Palmer's balding bonce was ridiculed, which amused everyone.

York Road is the oldest continually used football ground in England (see below) so I therefore expected it to be potentially like Twerton Park, a grand old ground built when people supported their local clubs rather than watching football in a pub, claiming to support a team based hundreds of miles away. Surprisingly, the ground is remarkably undeveloped, but it does have a charming air and some nice touches.

The crowd of 320 contained close to 100 stripes, and we were in fine voice all afternoon. The City team was the same that played Basingstoke, with Elliot Chamberlain making his last appearance before returning to Exeter City. The stripes started well, and Noah Keats' drive from distance had strangled cries as it came very close to opening the scoring.

Maidenhead then grew into the game, and if they could finish City may have been in trouble, as shot after shot flew miles over Mellor's goal. The bent metal of the advertising hoarding above the goal suggested that this maybe a problem they regularly encounter, but it did cause a few raised heartbeats as the chances kept coming.

Jason Mellor also saved City's rearguard, when he noticed early that Maidenhead's right winger had been released, and he powered from the goal and won a challenge clearing the ball into touch. I think it was at this point that we noticed the railway line running down the side of the pitch, and it was commented on that they used different FGW trains to the ones at home, so more teasing of our wannabe trainspotter ensued.

Mellor then started a move which should have led to City taking the lead, he threw out to Allen, who threaded a inch perfect pass into the path of Chamberlain, the forward struck his shot, which went past the keeper but rebounded back off the post, the pass alone deserved a goal as it was exquisite.

Maidenhead are rightly proud of their history

No goal appeared during the rest of the first half, and then ridiculously given it is Easter, as I wandered around the pitch at half time it started to snow. Snow, at the end of March, this winter is showing no signs of ending yet.

Flags were hung on the nice end covering, which provided good amplification of songs, and the second half began. Maidenhead forced Mellor to pull off a brilliant save with his legs early in the half, and the men in stripes were under a fair amount of pressure. Slightly against the run of play City broke, Josh Low ended up with the ball, and after a few feints he fired towards goal Billy Lumely got down to the ball, but only managed to push the ball out into the 6 yard box, Chamberlain following up slotted the ball home. 0-1 City, and that was how the game ended. Maidenhead should probably have scored a few in the game, but their awful finishing cost them, however, City did restrict them mainly to half chances and will feel the result was a result of their resolute defending.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smaller than expected but not lacking in charm

Salisbury City (H)
Easter Monday saw the visit of Salisbury City to Twerton, with The Whites making the short trip from Wiltshire. Salisbury have dropped down to second in the league after looking like they were going to run away with it at one point.

Feeling slightly worse for wear after an unexpectedly heavy Easter Sunday session, I eschewed the usual prematch visit to the taverns of Twerton, and decided to just rock up in time for kick off, but completely cocked up my timings and would have been late if it wasn't for the fortuitous intervention of the family Gibbons, who were driving past a offered me a lift that was gratefully received.

Arriving at the ground, it was busier than it has been for a while, and that boded well for a decent sized crowd, and eventually 731 people braved the cold to catch the game.

Griffin came in for the now departed Chamberlain, and Gethin Jones started in a back 5, which saw Allen drop to the bench.  Will Puddy, ex of City, and massively annoying swine in the reverse fixture was in goal for Salisbury. City passed the ball around well, but time after time the linesmans flag went up to prevent a City opportunity, now one or two may well have been offside, but he flagged Low at one point when the tall wideman was played on by the right back by a good few yards. The back 5, was allowing Aaron Brown and Sekani Simpson ample opportunity to bomb forward from their wing back positions, and Simpson had a few dangerous runs.

Griffin was broke through trying to latch onto a bouncing pass, and for my money Puddy clearly used his hands a good yard outside of the area. But despite the appeals the referee ignored the infraction. This was part of a number of slightly bizarre calls by the match officials in the first period, although they seemed to calm down in the second.

Jason Mellor continued his transformation from young goalkeeper who we had hopes for, to integral, superb goalkeeper, and pulled off a couple of fantastic saves. Salisbury came into the game more in the second half, although there were two odd moments, a yellow smoke bomb/flare was thrown onto the pitch by the Salisbury fans, which led to an amazing comedy fall by a steward who ran onto the pitch to clear the item, then the Salisbury manager began a screaming match at whom I do not know, and was warned by the referee.

City then carved out two moments that could have won the game, for the first Low broke down the right, before passing to Burnell, Burnell floated the ball into the box, where Griffin met it with a powerful head, the ball beat Puddy, but hit the crossbar and rebounded harmlessly away from any City players. Shortly afterwards Josh Low was released again, and he appeared caught in two minds as the ball bobbled, and instead of a) shooting or b) passing to Griffin, he took a touch to many and Puddy dived at his feet and the chance went.

Morgan and Lennox came on at the 88 minute mark, leaving City with potentially the smallest frontline in non league, and something clearly pissed Morgan off as he stormed down the tunnel after the final whistle. Nil nil was the score, but the game was far more entertaining than the scoreline suggests and the result meant City have gone 5 games unbeaten.

Well in! (Second pun in a week, I am on fire!)

Every so often there are moments when football treats you, and it appears that this week wants to be one of those occasions (I am sure Saturday at home to Basingstoke will change my opinion!) as after the dramatic, and deserved late equaliser against Chelmsford City, the Romans welcomed top of the table Welling United to Twerton.

Welling provided our first opposition of the season on a ludicrously hot August day, when optimism was still in the air, before the cold winter killed it stone dead. Kurtis Guthrie who scored 6 in 13 for City, returned with the visitors, however, young Kurtis hasn't scored for Welling, and was missing his fantastic hair sporting a shaved head.

Chamberlain, Preece and Low started, meaning that Griffin, Jones and Allen dropped to the bench. The pitch was remarkably in good nick, given how poor it was looking on Saturday a doff of the cap to the people involved in getting it playable.

City started brightly, and swarmed all over Welling, very early on Chamberlain hit a shot wide of the post having worked some space for himself. The same player was released very shortly afterwards, by a beautifully weighted ball, but he was unceremoniously pulled down by Anthony Acheampong, who was clearly the last man, bizarrely the referee decided to only book Acheampong, who despite being a giant fell over (read dived) whenever a stripe went near him, and generally was a cheating, but surprising rubbish nob.

Brown hammered the resulting freekick low, but the shot was well held by Jamie Turner, Welling's reserve and surprisingly tubby goalkeeper. To be fair to the stand in, despite his rotundness his experience shone through during the night, and he pulled off some brilliant saves, including a second half full stretch save from a Connolly volley that was destined for the net.

Despite City's vast superiority Welling should have taken the lead, when on 12 minutes the ball was played to a Welling striker unmarked, less than 12 yards from goal, somehow, miraculously the ball got stuck between the forwards feet and a quick to react Mellor managed to get the ball away.

Welling despite being top of the table, looked devoid of any ideas, or to be honest any real quality, and City always looked the more likely to score. When the goal did arrive, it was a thing of amazement for many reasons! Just after the half hour mark, Chamberlain harried the centre back and goalkeeper, before Noah Keats snuck up on the second centre back who'd received the ball from the keeper, Keats robbed the player, but the chance appeared to have gone, as he was forced wide, the ball was played back to Burnell, who chipped an exquisite ball, than an on rushing Sekani Simpson took in his stride, his first touch rounding the keeper before calmly slotting the ball home with his left!

Unbelievable scenes, as Simpson scored his first league goal since 2008, and apparently first at home since the Southern League days. Simpson celebrated with a brilliant  nonchalant swagger, which seemed to scream "yes I am that good!"

The half time went with City winning 1-0.

Welling made a succession of changes after the half, but very rarely did they threaten City, and the stripes always looked more likely to score again. The giant centre back who should have been sent off earlier continued to trip, and push with no fear.

Eventually though, the red card Welling United seemed intent on receiving happened, there were some crunching tackles in quick succession before Welling substitute Giannoulis Fakinos (what a name!) leapt in, studs showing and connected with Adam Connolly, the red was instantly flashed, and a yellow followed to a Welling player who said too much.

With Welling down to 10 men, the fear of Kurtis Guthrie, who'd come on in the 53rd minute weirdly playing on the wing, scoring to haunt City receded. In fact  City should have scored a second, when in the dying seconds Kerry Morgan was fed by Connolly, but the Welsh winger, scuffed his first time shot tamely into the keepers hands.

It was not to matter though, as the whistle went shortly afterwards, and City had won, producing their best overall performance since the 2011 season when we finished 10th in the Conference. Superb by the men in black and white, and given the fear of getting nothing from the games against two teams from the top of the table has yielded 4 points. Onwards and upwards! Up the City!

All hail breaks loose (awful pun I apologise!)

The first of what is meant to be 3 home games in 8 days (emphasis on meant to be, more on that later) was the visit of Chelmsford City to Twerton. Having not played at home in the league since the last gasp equaliser against Truro, it was nice to be back down Twerton, although a chat in the pub beforehand revealed that we have only won three (3) games at home since August, a depressing stat if ever there was one!

The game was to be notable for a few reasons, in Dover we had met some American girls, who were travelling Europe and had given them a memorable first night in England (look at the post below for photographic proof!) and they had decided to take Palmer up on his charitable offer of hospitality, and visited Bath, and were to experience their first “soccer” game at glorious old Twerton Park.

That was good news, but even better news, was the return of the messiah, the King’s return, the return of Jim Rollo! Yes, City’s stalwart of the previous decade, record appearance holder and all round good chap had returned to the stripes after 10 weeks at Chippenham.

The weather had taken it’s toll on the matches across the Conference South, and our pitch was also looking worse for wear, how they got the game on I do not know.

Chelmsford had lost to Hornchurch in the week, and we feared a reprisal and the Clarets swarmed over the stripes early on. Mellor had to be at his best to repel the early chances, and Chelmsford looked destined to score, so it was more than a bit of a surprise when City took the lead on 9 minutes.

Ryan Charles (recently signed, and on his 7000^th club) was fouled on the edge of the area, Aaron Brown whipped a cross in, there appeared to be multiple touches and flicks, until the ball fell at the feet of Gethin Jones, who bundled the ball home from close range. 1-0, and the goal seemed to spur City into action, with both Connolly and Griffin having chances.

Nevertheless, Chelmsford were still looking very dangerous, and their number 9 in particular had many opportunities. Noah Keats stung the keepers hands, and both Dan Ball and Ryan Charles followed up well.

Ball was having a commanding game at centre half, and he is one I fear we may lose to a bigger team come the summer, if only his more experienced colleagues could play at the level Ball does, then our defence would be water tight. Sadly, this was not to be the case, Burnell misplaced his pass to Justin Miller, and the midfield smashed his shot home from well outside the area, the finish was sublime and gave Mellor no chance, but Miller should never have received the ball in the first place.

City almost immediately regained the lead, when a cross and a scramble led to the ball dropping by Ryan Charles’ his shot however, rolled agonisingly wide of the post with the keeper rooted to the spot. Chelmsford then had a brilliant chance that Dan Ball somehow cleared off the line, the goal was due though, and due to Gethin Jones trying to execute a Cryuff turn and pass in the last moments of the half when he clearly should have just cleared the ball, a unbelievably scruffy goal was scored by Bakare. To add to the annoyance, the ball hit the post before trickling over the line. The half time whistle blew, and the Chelmsford fans celebrated like they had won the game.

Josh Low came on for the shockingly bad Burnell during the interval, and the tall wideman had a brilliant game, injecting some much needed pace and directness to the midfield. The Romans, attacked with purpose throughout the half, Griffin drove a shot narrowly wide, the same player couldn’t quite connect to a Ryan Charles cross deep to the back post, and Charles’ himself couldn’t convert with his head following a Low cross.

With City committing men to attack, there were inevitable gaps at the back, and if Bakare could finish Chelmsford could have been out of sight, as he had many presentable opportunities.

During the half, a hailstorm could be seen making it’s way over from Lansdown, with the hillside and eventually Weston disappearing behind the deluge, when it arrived at Twerton Park it was precipitation on a biblical weather, and the hail began to settle onto the pitch, slowly turning it white and driving the Bath Enders into the Popular Side, this though seemed to increase the atmosphere and a bellow and roar greeted every attack and every chance and it felt like something must happen.

Mellor thwarted a couple of attacks, and then the young keeper was sent up for a corner, joy of joys, one of those rarely seen sights at a game, but always enjoyed. The ball went no where near Mellor and was cleared to Bakare with Mellor deep in the Chelmsford half, Bakare fired the ball towards the unguarded net, but thankfully his aim was array and it drifted harmlessly to the left of the goal.

A Brown drive led to a corner, where Ball connected with a header which was cleared off of the line, I thought Charles’ was pulled down in the ensuing scramble but nothing was given. The stripes would not be denied though and in the 93^rd minute, Josh Low received the ball on the wing, we screamed at him to cross, but Low thought better and cut inside the full back before picking out his cross. A delicate chipped ball alluded the keeper and the defence to be met by Noah Keats at the back post, his header found the net and Twerton Park erupted! For the second home game in succession City had snatched a late, late equaliser. They almost took all three points, when a long throw in the last seconds was cleared away by desperate Chelmsford defenders.

A cracking game, played in bizarre conditions, that proved if the stripes can play and battle like the did in the second half, then talk of relegation will prove to be premature. The weather though has potentially killed off any hopes of the Welling United game on Tuesday being played, as the pitch was ruined which is shown by the picture below. 

If they make this pitch playable I'll be impressed!

Another ridiculous away day - Dover Athletic

As seems to be becoming a bit of a seasonal tradition, a away game a bloody long way away was chosen to be one that would be visited, and combined with an over night stay (two years ago Barrow, last year Gateshead) this season it fell to Dover away to be the overnight stop, given that it coincided with Paul Hill’s birthday meant it worked out particularly well.

There were to be 8 stripes alighting at Bath Spa, and another one would join us in Kent (at Ashford) meaning we had good numbers for a little jolly boys outing. The train from Bath Spa, was 7:17, which meant getting up at 6, wasn’t too bad really, although did have a little rest on the train (see below…) The superbly priced £33 pp group four savers were purchased and away we went.

A quick close of the eyes...

Going into Kent, as the games at Welling and Tonbridge Angels showed that a change from Paddington to Charing Cross is needed. As we all know from previously Charing Cross is right next door to The Harp, my favourite London pub and winner of CAMA pub of the year in 2011.

As it wasn’t even 10am, we piled into a café next door and tucked into varying sizes of breakfast, while Chris Welch ordered the “Country Breakfast” now we all expected a large breakfast to appear, but what actually arrived was a mountain of food that left the hungover Welch seriously considering the choices he had made, he manfully finished over ¾’s of the Solsbury Hill sized plate, but the final quarter had him beaten.

Under Nelson's column prebreakfast

We took the 4 steps into The Harp and were treated to the superb array of ales on offer, a pleasant two hours or so, were spent in the pub, before we headed back to Charing Cross and took the two hour train down to Dover.

From Dover it was two taxi’s to just outside The Crabble, with time for a swift pint in The Cricketers (sadly like the pubs of Dover it was nothing to write home about) ale consumed we started to enter the ground, and I witnessed something I never had before. The entrance to the ground is up a bit of a slope (I do mean a little slope, it’s not on the level of the hill up to The New Lawn, or even Shophouse Lane) but unbelievably the have a golf kart that is used to drive people up and down the hill, how you get use of this I have no idea, but I have never seen anything like it at a ground before!

Seriously the hill wasn't big enough to warrant this!

After a turnstile confusion, where insulting the lady behind the counter didn’t believe me and Tim were under 18, we entered the ground. The Crabble is actually a decent looking ground, with two covered terrace ends, and set within a wooded area. They to have pumped for the Salisbury City style video scoreboards, but these thankfully are not as epilepsy inducing as the ones at The Raymond McEnhill Stadium.

Dover almost scored in the first minute, but after that let off City roared into the game and were playing much the better football. Aaron Brown was playing well down the left, and crossed a ball over that Griffin hit narrowly over the bar. Adam Connolly then had a little burst and hit a longish shot from 20 yards towards goal that hit the angle and rebounded away, then came City’s best of the early chances, Brown galloped down the left and floated over and exquisite cross which Charlie Griffin rose to power home, however, the frontman only managed to  power his header straight at Mitchell Walker who turned the ball over the bar. Griffin should really have done better with his header, but the stripes were playing well, and the songs were flowing as readily as the ale had earlier.

From a corner Dan Ball almost scored, before Mark Preece missed with a header, that like Griffin he should have done better with. So with Dover Athletic rattled and City playing well, it was only a matter of time until City scored, or so we thought, rather typically against the run of play Dover scored.

A freekick was given away in an innocuous position, the ball was floated in and Jason Mellor seemed to come out to collect it, somehow a miscommunication between him and Preece meant that the big centre half got a touch on the ball which knocked it past Mellor, falling to Ben May who tucked the ball home gleefully from short range.

Against the run of play City had conceded, but City continued to play. Again Aaron Brown was involved, his ball was brought down by Griffin and the big centre forward span deftly and fired a curling effort towards goal, me and the stripes around me were convinced it was going in, so when it flashed just wide of the post the strangled celebrations were heartfelt.

The half time whistle blew with the score 1-0, and we wandered around to the other end and put as many flags up as we could fit on the stand. In the second half City were less adventurous as Ricky Modeste had a few chances, and Dover seemed to keep Bath City penned into their own half a bit more.

Then came the knock out blow, from a Dover corner the ball fell to Gethin Jones, the Romans captain hit an attempted clearance that rocketed into the back of his own net, in fact the strike was so crisp and so powerful that I didn’t realise it was an own goal until after the final whistle when an supporter told me it was, and Dave Phillips commentating on mixlr also described it as a cracking shot not realising the finish had been applied by Gethin.

City never wilted and kept pressing, but with the exception of a Griffin volley which hit the side netting, no more efforts of note occurred, however, the stripey faithful continued to sing, and much enjoyment was had out of renditions of Flying Pickets “Only you” and a new song extolling the virtues of a Twerton night out to the tune of John Denver’s “Annie’s Song” (although you might know it as you fill up my senses) was sang time and time again, as it is ace!

After the game, we continued to sing as we made our way back to The Cricketers. Afterwards, we headed to our accommodation The Castle, which had a hostel upstairs, and had kindly bought a barrel of ale in especially for the staying City boys. A nice barrel of One Hop, which was soon drank dry. The intention was always to go out into Dover, but getting settled in a warm boozer, that basically let us do what we wanted and had plentiful beer on meant that idea died on its arse, and we ended up getting on it in the Castle.

A clear sign things have got out of hand!

This night truly got out of hand, we met a 18 year old American girl on her first night in England, her mate and a Mexican girl, who were soon welcomed into the West Country fold, and saw a night of which the will probably never see the like again! There was too much male nudity (not by your correspondent I hasten to add), free shots being dished out like water, an impromptu band performance, students dropping like flies (we lost Nino completely, then Will and Kyle at differing points emptied their stomachs) but eventually at 3am, most people retired for the night to sleep off the 15 hours of drinking.

Scene of one of the weirdest nights ever

Dover castle and some hungover stripes

We awoke, still minus Nino, so the local constabulary were rung to see if he had spent his night in the cells, when suddenly he appeared from a room which had previously been locked! How he got in we do not know, but reunited the stripes could think about heading home. The journey was largely uneventful, and we arrived home midafternoon Sunday, the only problem with the journey being a bunch of bellends from Swindon who got on the train (about 16 of them split between men and women) who proceeded to talk in faux Cockney accents and shout about Spurs/Arsenal and Man United. Support your local team ffs! But it didn’t detract from what had been a ridiculously entertaining, out of hand weekend.

*****City have since lost again, away at H&W, which means we have slid a bit dangerously low again, while I don’t fully consider us to be in a relegation battle, the men in black and white need to pick up some quick wins to ensure nerves aren’t frayed.